is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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