I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
