even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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