found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
