Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize