so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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