ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
