quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
