but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
