what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
