I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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