so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
