How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
