i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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