I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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