I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
