and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
