I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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