he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
