And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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