Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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