The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
