So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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