It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
