Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
