i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
