69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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