YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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