i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Farmville is her only friend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
