Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
