Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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