i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
