i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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