so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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