Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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