My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You have to summon your inner elephant
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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