I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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