i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
