the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
