I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
