wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
