where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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