brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
