Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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