she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
