Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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