okay pat passed out under dana's car
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
