i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
