Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
