Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
