remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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