I am midnight drunk by noon
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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