Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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