last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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