I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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