Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
