She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize