NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
